I'm a Computer Tutor

Nothing says “come home with me” like a...

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 21:33:51 -0500

Nothing says “come home with me” like a well-practiced rape look.

Grammar school spanish

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 18:05:08 -0500

Today I had to watch a video in Spanish to help someone out on a project, I was looking for one word: “bitcoin”. Not only did I find it, but I also understood enough to know what Mexican nation uses it the most. Elementary school Spanish classes saved my ass today.

Top reason why Courage the Cowardly Dog show scared the living...

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 12:14:11 -0500

Top reason why Courage the Cowardly Dog show scared the living shit out of me.

First thought: “Women Gone wild….The Casey Anthony...

Sun, 18 Dec 2011 22:35:00 -0500

First thought: “Women Gone wild….The Casey Anthony story” Another reason I’m going to hell.

It’s a Christmas repost of a repost. It’s like...

Sun, 11 Dec 2011 17:19:30 -0500

It’s a Christmas repost of a repost. It’s like re-gifting, only funnier.

"Every time I go on Tumblr, Dashboard gets stuck in my head -.-"

Fri, 18 Nov 2011 07:46:24 -0500

“Every time I go on Tumblr, Dashboard gets stuck in my head -.-”

Made a song the other day

Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:53:32 -0400

The Tutor Guy (to the tune of Piano Man)

It’s nine am on a Saturday
The late tutor shuffles in
He’s standing there, lookin’ right at me,
And smiles with an uneasy grin.

He says, “Fuck, I can’t believe it is Saturday
I’m not really sure why I’m here
I’m tired and I’m beat and I wish I could sleep
Or at least have a nice pint of beer.”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Chorus:
Help me out, you’re the tutor guy
Help me change my font
Well, we’re all in need to get our stuff fixed
And your advice is all that we want.

Now Dave is a regular attendee,
Who never has time for his work
He smells like smoke, and he gives me a poke
And he begins with a casual smirk:
He says, “Dude, can you help me with the internet?”
As the smirk ran away from his face
“I’m sure I could fix this myself,
If I actually showed up to this place.”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Now Dan is our lab supervisor,
Who’s never had time for a life.
And he’s talkin’ to Bobby, who’s out in the lobby
Waiting for his Word-illiterate wife.

And a student is practicing IT tech,
While a tutor gives her time that’s on loan,
They’re sharing a pain they call “Q and A”
But it’s better than sufferin’ alone.

Chorus:
Help me out, you’re the tutor guy
Help me change my font
Well, we’re all in need to get our stuff fixed
And your advice is all that we want.

There is nobody here, because it’s Saturday,
But the supervisor gives me a smile,
‘Cause he knows it with glee, that he gets to leave
And forget out this job for a while.
And some guy’s music, it sounds like a live show,
It’s cranked up so loud, I can hear.
I get up from my chair, and give him a glare
And say, “Hey, turn it down when you’re here.”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Chorus:
Help me out, you’re the tutor guy
Help me change my font
Well, we’re all in need to get our stuff fixed
And your advice is all that we want.

Now…to buy a chin-up bar…..

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 08:42:13 -0400

Now…to buy a chin-up bar…..

Attack of the Publically offensive

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 18:48:53 -0400

I have never seen so many birthdays at Fuji Grill. So, figuring on getting in on the action, my friend takes a twenty second hit of saki for his “birthday”. Unbeknownst to us, he had done the same exact thing last week. When the hostess realized this was so, she asked about shenanigans last week, in which he responded: “if it gets me free saki, it’s my birthday every fucking week!” Then he got free ice cream. No questions asked.

"Arcade fire? Hollister’s cred just dropped a few points."

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 18:42:56 -0400

“Arcade fire? Hollister’s cred just dropped a few points.”